


I don't want heaven

by remusmoonyblack-lupin (moonlightgalleon)



Series: A series of ficlets from my tumblr [3]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, First War with Voldemort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-06
Updated: 2017-02-06
Packaged: 2018-09-22 11:31:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9605912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonlightgalleon/pseuds/remusmoonyblack-lupin
Summary: First war with Voldemort





	

Sirius felt a lump in his throat as he saw Remus crossing the door of their flat. He just had a meeting with Dumbledore and the resignation in his eyes said more than Sirius felt he could deal with.

Remus was walking like a zombie, he passed next to Sirius without even noticing him. He went straight to the bathroom for a shower, still lost in his thoughts.

Sirius knew what this was about. He had known the moment Dumbledore's letter came for Remus. Both of them knew in fact.

But neither of them mentioned it. That night they made love to each other so passionately, clinging to each other as much as they could, trying to pass unsaid messages through kisses.

That night Sirius didn't sleep, instead holding Remus so hard and so close and going through their memories together.

He would be naive if he said that everything would be alright. People were dying. Their friends and other members of the Order. It was clear that nowhere was safe but Remus would be in greater danger it seemed.

Sirius allowed Remus his time to be alone in the shower. He knew the other man needed some space to sort things out before confronting him. Sirius tried to make some tea but felt his hands shaking way too much to do anything much.

Even his vision was blinded by tears and he felt his throat tightening again. He had almost lost Remus once in fifth year and that period without him was awful. Sirius could not sleep nor eat properly that time. Guilt, pain and hurt filling him already.

He wasn't ready for that again. He heard the water stopping and the door of the stall opening. He made his way to their bedroom, desperately trying to find something to say. To at least not burden his lover with his pain now. God knew how Remus went through.

Remus came out wearing some boxers and Sirius' favourite t-shirt. His eyes were bloodshot and he was trembling slightly. He looked so small and vulnerable at that moment that Sirius itched to just hold him. He felt himself tearing up just at the sight of him.

Wordlessly Remus slipped on their bed, under their duvet. Sirius didn't need telling even once, joining the tawny-hair man almost instantly.

His arms immediately went round Remus, holding him right onto his chest, pressing kisses onto every piece of skin he could and whispering soothing words to him.

After some time, neither I them could tell though-could be ten minutes or two hours- Remus pulled away and looked at Sirius.

"I have to tell you something." Remus whispered while his eyes welled up with tears.

"I know love. I know." Of course he knew. Of course Dumbledore would want Remus to try and recruit werewolves. That was probably his plan when he petitioned for Remus to attend Hogwarts. Guilt-trip him for him to have a prawn to move against Voldemort.

Didn't matter that Remus actually deserved to go to Hogwarts. That he was an actual human being. No he was just a fucking prawn to Dumbledore.

They continued holding on to each other until morning. Pressing hot kisses to their skins, making vows and promises. They only had two weeks before them. Then Remus would be gone.


End file.
